TIME TO RESOLUTE? 

The New Year is approaching and although many of us will be partying and getting drunk with our special someone, it is time to write down our list of New Year’s resolutions. Beyond the typical norm of losing weight, saving money and releasing ourselves of debt, it is a fair assessment to take a different route when coming up with New Year’s resolutions. Although this is opposite of our fashion-related posts, it is still very important to be fashionable on the outside and within. 

#1: WARDROBE YOUR SIZE

    Instead of waiting until the beginning of the year to begin dieting only to fall off after a month, why not accept who you are and how you look. Time and time again people wait until the New Year to try and lose weight. If losing weight is a main goal, then why not start off small by not drinking soda or limiting the amount of fast food per month. Instead of making your resolution to 50-100 pounds, try buying clothes a size down from your original and create an action plan that will actually work. Only from there will you progress your weight loss throughout the year to your desired goal.

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#2: INCREASE YOUR KNOWLEDGE

Try taking a classes that will either benefit your career or your skill set. Try taking a finance class or a typing class. For those of you, like myself, who want to learn a new skill, try taking a cooking class or a dance class. I was raised in a home of chefs and although I know how to cook many different cuisines, Asian was never one of them. This new year, my goal is to master the art of Asian cooking.

 

#3: EVALUATE YOUR LOVE, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS

     I have been always been one of those women that would always start the New Year saying, “I’m going to find me a new man and a better relationship”. Time and time again I would never end up with the right man, always being disappointed and left heart broken. We, as women, are trained to be on the hunt or lookout for that perfect man. We’re hoping to “bump” into him or maybe lock eyes with him, never putting our guard down and always keeping our eyes open.  Let’s try to take a different approach! Instead of looking for the right person, let’s be the right person. Once you become the best you can be, both physically and spiritually, the right man will find you. You won’t have to go out looking or hoping the right one will cross your path. 

For those of you who are currently in a relationship, a great resolution is actually figuring out if the person you are with is the right one for you. I am in a 3 year relationship with the man of my “dreams”. I love him and would do anything for him. He and I aren’t exactly where we want to be in terms of career and financial stability, but we are almost there. Recently, he expressed his feelings to me about, like most men, not being ready for a serious commitment until he is stable financially. I completely understood and accepted his wish. But as I lay in bed, I realized I wasn’t happy. I was the only one in our relationship giving and assuring my love. Men are the best at telling women what they can and will do but it is the actions that are lacking belief. It’s one thing to tell me that you love and care about me but it’s another to actually show me. Something clicked and a big light bulb appeared over my head. The past three years I have been holding on to this man because I was in love and too blind to see that our whole relationship was based on sex. He would never want to go out or display any type of public affection. Although I would have like to go on a date every now and then, he never put my needs first. As a result, I told him I needed a long break. Even though I haven’t completely broken up with him, I cut out all the sex. I won’t know if he is worth the wait unless I go out there and start to casually date. It won’t be easy getting over him (and I am prepared) but sometimes it’s important to really look at your relationship from the outside. I was able to see so much clearer and put things in perspective when I stepped away from the relationship. And yes, with him being a Scorpio and I a Pisces, I read all the so-called relationship compatibility traits. Although I do believe we make the perfect match, at this time, he just isn’t the right one for me. Maybe somewhere down the line we will be able to rekindle our flames, but for now, it’s best we go our separate ways. I will be spending my Christmas surrounded by people who truly love me and New Years... shaking my tail-feather! As I start the new year, I will not make the same mistakes I did and I will not have my needs pushed to the side as if they don’t matter (in my Beyonce voice). I’m not telling women out there who reads this to follow what I do. I’m simply saying to take a step back and really examine your relationship. If it is perfect and where you want it to be, then CONGRATS!! If not, just slow it down and figure out what works best for YOU.

WHAT ARE YOUR NEW YEARS' RESOLUTIONS?